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How to overcome a disappointment


It seems easy when it's gone and it's a distant memory but when it is fresh it seems unsurpassed. How to overcome a disappointment? First of all it is possible to do it, always, the most important thing is this awareness and conviction. Starting from this truth, which we must never question, we can go and choose the method that best suits our character and the moment we are going through.

There are disappointments in life, big or small. It is almost impossible to avoid them all, those who succeed do not live, do not take risks, do not put themselves to the test, but then, what life is it? Noting that disappointments cannot be avoided, even if not the maximum effort, let's roll up our sleeves trying to arrive prepared for the appointment with the next disappointment that we will face. It will hit us but we won't sink.

Disappointments: definition

Let's start by giving a definition of disappointment. We can consider it as a fall, sometimes brutal, of our expectation, but it is not a matter of a moment, it can also be a path, a succession of often conflicting emotions, a state of mind that evolves and not always in predictable manner.

Disappointments cannot be ranked, each has their own perception of gravity of each and no one can afford to decide what to be disappointed for and what not to. This is important to keep in mind: no one can judge our disappointments, in a way, even if it sounds bad, we have to think that we have a right to be disappointed for any reason. Not everyone has the same reasons, we must respect those of others even if we do not fully understand them.

There are delusions of love, disappointments at work or in the family, existential disappointments, linked to friendship or our values. Beyond the type of disappointment we are facing, it can be an opportunity to grow. A trivial but true thought, which I subscribe to. Facing and overcoming a disappointment makes us stronger, more aware, more realistic and more authentic. Sometimes even less naive.

How to overcome a disappointment

Let's see an example of an emotional path that can help us get out of the tunnel into which a strong disappointment can make us fall. First of all let's take note of our emotion, let's not keep it hidden from ourselves, let's not deny it risking to make it rise and rot in our souls. Let's try to write about it, in our depths, because putting it simply on white helps us to give it a concrete dimension but also to see the reality not deformed by our negative feeling.

The second, very difficult step is to confide our disappointment to a trusted person. Friend, companion, parent, relative, the person we believe can welcome our confidence without judging us and without caring. It is not trivial to choose who to open your heart to but if we look inside it will not be difficult to make us think of the name of the person we feel like talking to.

If we are not clear on the reason for our disappointment, let's try to ask ourselves some questions. Talking to someone can help us clear our minds but if this has not happened we try to go by exclusion in order to trace the origin of the disappointment that overwhelms us, without mixing too many reasons. Let's not project our opinion onto others but take responsibility not only for our actions but also for what we feel.

If the disappointment is linked to the behavior of another person, cold, we try to feel how we feel about her and if we still want to trust her. Let's not forget to also examine our responsibilities because very often a relationship is ruined by shared and common faults.

How to overcome a disappointment: natural remedies

In addition to "direct" psychological work to understand how to overcome a disappointment, there are also a series of tricks that can accompany us in the "recovery" from the disappointment and that do not take the problem head on but go along with it, allowing us to think about something else and let the necessary time pass for the pain to decrease.

Nature offers us a lot to distract and calm ourselves. A long walk in the open air can reconcile us with the world, despite the disappointment, and even physical activity at contact with nature it is an excellent remedy for sadness and depression.

Music can help us open our hearts and look within with greater awareness, whether it's classical or rock music, it all depends on how it makes our strings resonate.

Let's not forget the food that can pamper us when we need to feel protected and treated well. Also interesting is the use of herbal teas which have anti-depressant powers. Among the best we find those based on pepper, guarana and elderberry to combat depression, or with orange blossom, lemon balm and verbena to relax. Yerba mate is excellent against stress while infusions based on ginseng and St. John's wort to improve mood. Also excellent is the Rooibos one which tones up in the morning and relaxes in the evening.

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Video: How to Cope with Disappointments in Dating Matthew Hussey (May 2021).