In a world where everyone always has something to say, there are still situations where words fail. How to make condolences? We have all wondered and the closer the person who has suffered a loss is to us, the more ideas on phrases to say will escape from our heads. This also happens a little because of the fact that today we have a big one fear of death and you don't live with it.
I'll explain. Once it was much more "daily" and inevitable, we lived in large houses or families where even the little ones were used to seeing the elderly go out and die. Today much less and above all we often live in the illusion that death is not a matter that concerns us. Rationally we all know that, for now, immortality does not exist, but in everyday life we often do not take note of the reality of death and how much it intertwines with our life and with the existence of all.
With that, I certainly didn't want to sadden you but simply try to investigate with you the reasons why it is so difficult to understand How to make condolences when on other occasions there is always a lot to say, even too much.
We often find ourselves stuck in the dilemma of show your pain or not. We are afraid to expose ourselves and to be seen in a certain sense vulnerable even if, towards death, we all are. Then there are also those who exaggerate to show their pain by overlapping that of others e leaving no room for dialogue.
It is very important to find a right fit but above all to find your own path to express pain. A mode that does not leave us regret and that makes us feel at ease and at peace with ourselves.
Now let's see some ways to make condolences from which to possibly take inspiration.
How to offer condolences sincerely
Can't we find the right phrase to say to the relative or friend in mourning? Well, we don't have to come up with anything weird, we are not in the theater or on TV, we can safely confess that we were speechless.
A silence or a simple admission, sincere and heartfelt, can mean a lot to those in pain and are able to show great closeness with zero hypocrisy. It seems simple but at the moment it is not so much because it is in a sense admitting one's own pain and it could make you feel disoriented but you will see that, once done, you will feel lighter and even closer to the other person.
Feeling embarrassed with the need to fill the silence with clichés it is much worse and when we realize the kind of phrases that go around, we will understand that it is better to admit your not having words and remain yourself.
How to make condolences with a memory
If we feel like it, a great way to offer condolences is to recall a memory together with the other person positive of the deceased. It is a way of chasing away sadness without denying it, it is a trick to think of something positive while fully respecting the dead person and the pain of those who loved them. A memory or what the deceased meant for us, for example if he was a teacher of life, an example of audacity, a reference for honesty.
How to make condolences with a card
Today who knows if it is still time for tickets, given the large number use of social networks and other digital channels. Having said that, let's think more about the type of text to write, then the channel can be secondary. Better to start our card with an expression of condolence, then remember the person with an anecdote or with adjectives and phrases and finish by reiterating our closeness. Let's not exaggerate with words, one or two sentences are often enough, but well written and heartfelt.
Many today communicate a mourning immediately away Facebook and via Facebook they receive condolences. Personally I find this rather strange and if I have to communicate my closeness to someone in case of bereavement, I prefer private messages, but everyone has their own sensitivity.Let's at least try to think of a sentence that is not exaggerated or that sounds copied. Very important avoiding comparisons or expressions like "I know what you are feeling". It may come naturally but it is not what you want to feel when you have just been bereaved.
How to give condolences with a hug
For example, if we are at a funeral or we have the opportunity to meet the person to whom we want to offer condolences, we can resolve the issue of embarrassment with a strong hug. It certainly depends on the relationship we have with each other but very often it is the best move. A heartfelt hug, which lasts a few seconds and not a run away, conveys much more than the most poetic phrases that exist. Of course, it is necessary to feel it because the pain is transmitted a lot, through hugs.
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